did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
