Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
