I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
