i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
