I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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