When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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