i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
