I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
