I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
