just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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