I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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