grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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