I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
