Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
