I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
