She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
