had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
