Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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