forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
