then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
