I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
