I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
