Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
