yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
