whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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