y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
