I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
