I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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