so that wasnt chicken after all
please come you make the beer taste better
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
