I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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