Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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