I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
