my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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