she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
