who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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