keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Mom said you looked used
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
