you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
