Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
