This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
