Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
