i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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