I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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