College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
