soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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