i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
