I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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