I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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