This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm at about main and main street
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
