i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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