My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My first STD was from a foam party
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
